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Advice For Would Be Strippers/Pole/Lap Dancers

I should start by saying that I am a male non dancer and thus all the information I have gathered over the years is second hand and may be slightly coloured by my status as a humble customer. I have tried with this to be as neutral as possible but this based on my view of the stripping world in London and so may well be biased and/or inaccurate in places. Running through the main topics that seem to crop up with girls thinking of starting to work in area, these are what I see as the main issues:

Terminology
Years ago a girl who took all her clothes off for male sexual gratification was called a stripper. These days it seems a more socially acceptable occupation if you refer to it as table, pole, or lap dancing but a girl coming into the industry should not fool herself, it's all the same thing except that these enlightened days the girl pays to work!

Age
A lot of girls ask am I too young at 18 or too old at 30. The answer is no in both cases, there is no real age limit in the UK and if you are employed in this field you will rarely have to give your correct age { or indeed even your real name !}anyway. I know one girl who started when still just 15 {strictly illegal} and worked for 20 years before retiring to run an agency. I know several girls past 40 who still work successfully. The only comments I would make are that if you are very young you need to be both mature for your age and emotionally resilient. If you want to keep working into your late 30s and beyond you need to look after yourself physically.

Must I have an agent?
A number of {especially} foreign girls have asked me if they need an agent to look after them in London. The short answer is no, not an exclusive one anyway. Most of the larger places book their own girls direct, there are some good agents in London but they just find specific bookings.

Do I need a work permit?
Any person with an EU passport needs no work permit in the UK. If you are from outside the EU then you do officially need one normally but very few clubs will actually ask for one.

How far do I have to go?
Almost every strip place in London is full nude and quite explicit at that, if you are very shy about your clitoris then maybe it's not the job for you. All regular places {as opposed to private parties} are officially non touching though sometimes these rules are not enforced very strictly. You will though not be forced into this if you are not happy, some girls like a bit of contact as it tends to make them more popular { and hence better paid} with the customers. At private parties "full contact "dances are standard and at certain ones everything up to full sex on stage goes on , though even here participation is voluntary.

What about extra services?
While I do hear stories about club owners, DJs, and even barmen demanding sexual favours from girls {most often from girls new to England without work permits} this is not the norm for London places and there are enough pubs/clubs in London for you to just walk out and get another job elsewhere. At no places I know in London will you be expected to sleep with customers for money {most make great play of forbidding this} but of course a few girls will do this on a freelance basis!

Training
Another common question is "Where can I learn to lap dance? ". Currently in London there are 2 courses Jo King's London School of Striptease and the regular slightly more upmarket one run by FYEO Mayfair, both seem competently run as far as I can tell. There are links to both on this web site. Jo King worked as a pub stripper for nearly 20 years and is a good source of advice for that side of the business. FYEO is a professionally run club. In the old days girls just learnt by doing and watching others and you can still do that if you want. Even if you are a useless dancer most places will still employ you provided you look OK.

What talent do I need?
As you are taking your clothes off for men's pleasure you need to look good naked and also to move in a seductive way. In addition as your earnings come directly from the audience you need to have good inter-personal skills. In most places you will get a lot of regulars and as time goes on your personality will become more important in retaining their long term interest than pure looks. The girls that do really well at stripping have a combination of all 3 attributes.

What are the other girls like?
A very mixed bunch is the short answer. In London over half of the other girls will probably be from overseas particularly Brazil and Eastern Europe. You get students, long stay tourists, frustrated artists of all sorts, and even office professionals earning extra money on the side. You tend not to get too many girls committed to the job long term although in the event many will work for many years on and off. Many girls tell me that at certain clubs the rapport between the girls makes the place a pleasure to work at.

What are the customers like?
Forget the dirty old man image and the new lad stuff, all types and ages of men use strip pubs and clubs. They may be smarter dressed at the clubs but they won't be any nicer ! A lot of girls say " I would never go out with a man who uses a strip club " when they start out in the business but in the event a number do and have long term relationships {both sexual and non sexual}with them. You do get tight fisted, abusive, nasty men in these places as in all walks of life but most are not and you will find the whole experience more enjoyable {and lucrative} if you let friendships develop.

Auditions
These almost always take place in the club/pub in normal working hours, if somebody suggests an audition in his bedroom, don't go ! Places vary greatly as to the standards they want, just because you are rejected at one place does not mean you should give up {unless you get rejected by the Rainbow Sports Bar who would give a job to someone with the looks of Olive from On the Busses , the personality of Janet Street Porter, and the dancing ability of a 3 legged hippo !}.

What a girl should try to find out at an audition
Aside from the usual stuff about does the place feel right and has the owner/DJ/barman propositioned me I would look out for the following. Firstly do they try to match the number of girls to the potential customers. Secondly are the house fees paid up front or at the end of the night. This can be significant as on quiet nights many places reduce or even waive the fees, they are less likely to do this if you have paid up front. Thirdly ask the regular girls how long they have worked there , if none have been there more than a couple of months that will tell you something.

Costumes
In strip pubs a lot of girls use sexual fantasy {schoolgirl, sexy secretary etc} outfits or skimpy underwear, in the clubs it tends to be more evening dresses and thongs. There are lots of places on the net to purchase clothes including an on line shop at www.strip-magazine.com.

How strip venues work
In the bad old days when girls were called strippers and only dirty old men used the clubs/pubs the venue used to pay the girls. Now in this post modern world it's called lap dancing and the places are full of celebs and new lads the girls pay the venue for the privilege of working. Payments come in the form of a flat house fee, commission on "tipping dollars", and tips from the girls to the "house mother", bouncers, or barmen for their " help " { like turning a blind eye to a bit of touching}. The range of fees charged varies enormously but as a rule of thumb the more central and the posher the club the more they will charge.

Earnings for the girl come from private dances { sometimes paid in " dancing dollar" tokens the house takes a cut from} with sometimes extra for using certain rooms, champagne bought, tips from pleased customers etc. In strip pubs {some which now look like clubs} the girls also go around with a jug for tips before doing their stage shows, in most clubs they have to do these for free.

Earnings, the £2,000 a night myth
Earnings for the girls can vary enormously, some nights the girls will not make their house fees some nights they will make hundreds if not thousands. In newspaper articles {usually with a headline like "The judge and the lap dancer " !} and often in quotes from the owners you will read that dancers regularly make £2, £3 or even £5,000 a night at these clubs. Girls mainly make their money from table dances usually at £20 a throw, ignoring commissions/fees etc to make £2,000 in 1 night would involve 100 table dances ie around 15 an hour for a typical 7 hour shift, I just don't think that happens. What does happen on the odd night in the odd venue that is a girl {or girls} sometimes strikes lucky with a merchant banker spending his Christmas bonus or a soccer player his signing on fee or some visiting diplomat spending his countries UN food aid programme. They spend most of the night in the club with her and give her a big wad for her trouble. I am sure this does happen but unless you are the favourite of a billionaire regular {like Anna Nichole-Smith in her stripping days} it won't happen very often.

Club owners often say in one breath " My girls can earn £x000's a night " and then in another " Very few girls stay a year, most only a few weeks ". You have to ask yourself does this sound plausible.

My opinion {and as a non dancer I may well be wrong here} is that the consistent and average earnings of all of the girls who work for Browns/Griffen will be as high as anywhere else in London {not counting girls who sleep with customers}. I am sure the top earners at say Stringfellow's make more but I bet the average net of fees is not significantly higher. At Browns off 5 or 6 4 hour shifts a week I think the average girl will regularly top £1,500 a week and many will top £2,000. In the evenings the place is very busy {100 to 300 men}, they insist on a £1 minimum per jug, and there are only normally 8 girls per shift on so table dances are relatively plentiful. I know 1 particularly beautiful girl who has worked there now for 13 years and several who have worked there for over 5 years, it tends to suggest that they feel they could not do better elsewhere.

Clubs v Pubs
A lot of girls won't consider the old style strip pubs mainly because being a lap dancer at Secrets or Spearmint Rhino with dollars in your garter belt sounds better than being an east end pub stripper trying to get people to put in a jug. Actually though I think the choice between the 2 is much closer than you would think and I suspect some of the better strip pubs stack up very well earnings {and other} wise with any of the clubs.

Taking the clubs first, the main ones in London are well decorated {John Gray of Spearmint told me the main reason for this was to please the girls rather than the customers}, have good security, nice changing rooms, they are clean, have a good sound system and a professional DJ, are open until very late, and they tend to be flexible about girl's shifts. The drawbacks are the girls are charged £50 to £100 a shift house fee, they all take a commission on the dances sold, stage dancers are free, they charge on the door and have very expensive drinks and so they are rarely packed, the shifts are very long, and as the girls represent the clubs main source of income they tend to have as many girls on at once as possible.

Strip pubs on the other hand charge the girls less, let them do a jug for stage dances, have cheap drinks and no door charges so normally have lots of customers, make the bulk of their money on booze so normally have less girls on at once, and don't stay open until 3am so shifts are shorter. On the other hand some {though not all} pubs are grotty with poor changing facilities and crap sound systems, some have poor security, and because they have less girls per shift they tend to be much more rigid about who works and when. Full lists of addresses etc can be found in www.trashcity.org { undressed to kill section}.

London Clubs
The top of the range London clubs are Stringfellow's and Spearmint Tottenham Court Rd. These are big, very plush places and consistently the busiest and they are the places most likely to offer a girl the "£2,000 myth " night. On the other hand they charge the girls the most here {around £100 a night}, have the most girls per shift on, and have the longest list rules and demands on the girls.

A lot of girls find that they can do better at some of the smaller clubs like Secrets, FYEO, Badabing, Sophisticats, and the other 2 London Spearmints. These are also quite plush places, house fees are normally in the £50 to £60 range, they have less girls on, and are less consistently busy.

London Pubs
Some of the bigger pubs do their own bookings but most use agencies. The agencies are all in Trash City and all have a portfolio of pubs {and some clubs} some of which are good and some very grotty. House fees are normally low or non existent in these pubs.

At the top end of the pub market are Browns and Metropolis. Browns is the bigger and busier of the 2, Metropolis is plusher and more club like. Browns house fees vary from £15 to £40 a shift depending on how busy it is, it takes no commission on dances, there is no admission charge, and the bar is at standard London pub prices. It also only has 6 to 10 girls per shift, they make lucrative jug collections before performing on a high main stage which most girls seem to enjoy. It's clean, has good security, and a top flight sound system. Browns has a sister pub the Griffen which has a similar format but is smaller, and a lot of Browns girls also work at another good pub in Shoreditch called the White Horse.

Metropolis is basically smaller but spread on 3 floors, it's really more of a competitor to Secrets etc but they still do jug collections. It was the first place in London to do table dancing and is still one of the most consistently busy places. It's prices, house fees etc are similar to Secrets or FYEO.

Tyke's 10 things to avoid when stripping in London
I have been going to these places for nearly 20 years and these are the most common pitfalls I have observed, don't;

1} Do drugs. The girls that have ended up in the biggest mess have all had big drug problems.

2} Have a Dick-head boyfriend. As the girls keep odd hours they tend to like to socialise in the early hours of the morning. Men who work can't do this so many end up with boyfriends who don't work but live off them.

3}Brag about money. Girls discuss money all the time but my recommendation would be to keep it to yourself what you earn as it only sets up petty rivalries.

4} Chase rainbows. The scene is awash with stories of how people are earning fortunes at some club or other. My advice would be to find a place you like and can earn decent money at and stick to it building up regulars.

5} Shag the other staff. Love affairs in the workplace are normally a bad idea with any job.

6}Be short term. An ambition to do something better is fine but many girls are continually saying they are leaving the business but end up back. Be realistic and treat this as a job you might stay in for 10 or 15 years.

7} Treat the customers with contempt. Some girls start with the attitude that all customers must be perverts and so I will do as little as possible and rip them off at every turn. This inevitably catches up with you.

8} Slag off other girls. As in any workplace it's best if you get on with your fellow workers.

9} Buy a sports car. If you are earning well it's tempting to treat yourself but I'd aim to put enough money away to make your life comfortable when you give up. Mind you I'm old and boring these days !

10} Give free table dances. Except to me of course !

 

Tyke 6/4/2003

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