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My
girlfriends birthday is just after Christmas. I hate shopping at the best
of times but having to look for a suitable present straight after Christmas
is a bind.
Anyway, on New Years Eve we were at a party. The Kylie Minogue
Live In Sidney DVD was on. I joking said I'd buy it for my girlfriend
in the same vain as when Homer Simpson bought Marge a bowling ball with
Homer printed on it. Kylie just happened to be doing some pole dancing
and my girlfriend sarcastically replied why don't you get me a pole.
So after an unsuccessful search round the Soho sex shops
and the internet I couldn't find anywhere to buy a pole. I resorted to
calling engineering companies and found success with an engineering company
in the UK.
So on 17th January 2002 a pole is born. It's Friday
afternoon the pole has been delivered and the girlfriend's not amused.
My friends see the funny side. She goes out parting with the words "I
don't want a pole in my house".
I chose to ignore her and fitted it in her absence, now
it's here to stay.
Ladies form an orderly queue and please no fighting.
You will all get a turn.
20th February 2002, my girlfriends mum visits
to baby sit. Her reaction?
Absolutely nothing, acted if it wasn't there. WOW
However she did spot the new toilet seat but managed to
miss the 3 metre shiny erection just behind the sofa she was sitting on
for 4 hours.
Maybe she just chose to ignore it. Maybe it just blends
in so subtlety every home should have one.
Just heard she never spotted it. It must be the most unobvious
piece of exercise equipment with the smallest foot print.
Update
Had a visit from her Mum, Dad and Uncle. Not one of them mentioned it,
must be taboo.
Another update
My Dad visited. He never noticed it either. I'm certain he would have
asked if he saw it.
I take it all back the girlfriends mum finally spotted
it. I don't think she got what a pole dancing pole was though. The pole
is practically invisible, everyone should have one.
 Its
good exercise and you'll do it, try walking past a pole without climbing
it or swinging around it.
Making your male visitors look like wimps when they try
to climb it. They generally turn purple and slide down slowly. I've seen
many a grown man truly humbled by my pole.
It makes the ladies curious and you'll get many more lady
visitors. There's a good chance that you'll get to see the tits of all
your mates girlfriends, and its cheaper than a hot tub.
Kids love a pole, to mess around with.
Restraining children.
 You
can relive playground abuse ritual of poling* your enemies, that is Slamming
someone's nuts into a pole like structure, other names for this act include
posting.
Since Having My Pole I Have....
Had my foot X-rayed after a drunken pole dancing incident.
Been sent some great porn from pole dancers.
Had to turn down a couple of new dancers down who wanted
to practice on my pole. Getting girlfriend approval would be a bit tricky.
Turn down a lady that wanted to hire my pole, for three
hours one night a week for twelve weeks, to train a bunch of new pole
dancers. Apparently a bit disruptive for our young child.
My artist friend Stuart and I were guests of Legs Eleven
at the British Super Bikes at Donnington Park.
Legs Eleven sponsor a racing team.
Been approached by various TV program researchers, mainly
from Granada Media. They tend not to look too closely at this site and
assume I'm a real pole dancer. The last one thought I may want to go on
the Trisha Show.
Had my forum hacked.
So what do you think, should I chuck the bird and kid out
and live happily ever after with my pole?
I then moved house and gave my original pole away to a Spanish
couple living in Buckinghamshire. They moved back to Spain and took My
Pole with them which has then led to the start of My
Pole Spain, www.mypole.com.es
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